Anger-issues, how can I cope with them?
That is a question that we all need to address from time to time. Of course everyone is different. Everyone knows that we all get annoyed and angry from time to time.
The thing is when we observe the world around us we can see that anger is rather a familiar emotion. Any stroll down any busy road will show us people losing their temper in cars, or parents getting angry with their children.
The truth is that anger is part of the human state. However, we tend to relate anger as being among one of the non-constructive emotions. This is not exactly accurate, because there are different forms of anger.
Anger can be positive and in fact be a huge motivator and compel people to accomplish great things. It was anger that led to the emancipation of women and the civil rights movement and many other righteous causes.
The thing is we have to make a distinction between positive and negative anger and our ability on how to cope with anger. We looked at positive anger just now so let’s turn to negative anger.
Negative anger is shown by frenzy and hatred in reaction to the slightest of annoyance. Having this kind of anger is really difficult to control. It can make starting any kind of relations with anyone who has this kind of anger-issues almost impossible.
A lot of people who are in top-security prison or a young offenders institution for brutal acts, are there from a lack of ability to manage their anger-issues.
This very dangerous from of negative anger shows itself in many different ways: such as making sure that people do not slur or mock you; if they do then they are in for a terrible beating.
The thing is though if you have a lot of negative anger-issues you are then the kind of person who always thinks that people are against you.
Further signs that you’ve got negative anger-issues are if you are the kind of person who tells people how to live their life: giving out very strict rules about how they should behave and so on. Also Conniving and taking revenge, manipulating others, are all connected with people with negative anger-issues.
The danger signals consist of a fast heart beat and muscular rigidity in the neck and shoulders. Once the adrenalin sets in a state of rage is then reached and the feeling is so overwhelming that the only thing to do then is to lash out.
To conquer this form of anger you have to need to be determined about altering your viewpoint on the world. As with any emotion, anger is ruled by your attitudes and belief systems.
Remember just saying that you want to be less angry about everything is not good enough. Now, think for a minute about the kind of negative thoughts and attitude that someone with severe anger-issues has.
Do you ever find yourself thinking? ” I don’t care! I will get whatever I want, other people can get stuffed,” or ” Why is everyone always picking on me? I’ll smash their heads in! ”
As you can see the two things that are of vital importance, if you want to change, are to restructure the attitudes and beliefs you have, so that they go in with the people and the world around you.
Think of others as an alternative to just thinking about yourself. Take a moment to ask yourself. What kind of person is it that you would like to be: would you like to be successful, cheerful, contented and a psychologically sound person? This type of person is naturally open-minded and tolerant of others.
An open-minded person understands the ups and downs of the world and their environment. As a result they are able to change and adjust accordingly. Psychologically fit people are formed from having a healthy attitude to life.
They comprehend that the world can be tough and maddening. They have a philosophical outlook on life.
They don’t dwell on the negative things that happen. Explaining your anger is the simple bit, altering it needs self-discipline and will power. And as I said before how to cope with anger-issues is something we all sometimes have to address.
What are the Steps for Managing Anger-Issues?
The steps for managing anger-issues: every time that you lose your temper, you are in real danger of destroying relationships and close ties with the individuals that you care about. Nasty words yelled, or objects thrown in anger can frequently be tremendously hurtful to your loved ones.
Also it can be challenging for them to comprehend precisely what went amiss to cause the reaction. Then after a while they will just stop trying to understand you and finally it will get more and more testing for them to forgive and forget.
So managing your anger-issues is absolutely essential, not just for you, but for all the people who you come into contact with.
The emotion of anger is your body’s reaction to a thought, which probably has been activated by an outside state. And this state is viewed through the vision of your own understanding.
Your vision is tinted by the mental ideas distinctive to you: ideas like right and wrong, like and dislike, goodness and evil. What you need to keep in mind is that everyone has a different vision of things, therefore interpretation clashes are unavoidable.
The first vital step on the road to managing your anger-issues is to realise that you have an anger problem. Once you realise this you will be well on the way to dealing with it.
If you think back to any situations which made you very angry in the past, you will probably realise that your lack of control, in fact, made the whole problem a lot worse, and not better.
But the good thing is, this is a significant realisation for you to make because when you recognise that you have a problem you will then know that you need to do something about it.
If you begin to feel yourself starting to get angry what you need to do is to just take time out to stop, think about the situation and try to figure out just why you are getting angry.
Very often the real source of the anger has nothing to do with the current situation, and pent-up frustrations from work can overflow into your home life causing unhappiness and distress for your loved ones and which they have no power over.
As soon as you find out what is really producing the anger, the next vital step in managing anger is to do something about it. This is the bit where you possibly will need to bite the bullet and connect with the cause of your anger.
It may well be that a person at work does something which continually makes you mad. So by talking about it with the person that annoys you the problem can be altered successfully.
The thing is the person that annoys you probably does not even know that they are doing it. So just by talking over your problem you can essentially eliminate the cause of your anger and live a much more harmonious life with your work colleagues, family and friends. All the above are useful steps for managing your anger-issues. Good Luck!
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