Controlling your anger-problem for a harmonious life is important for your well-being. Anger is a vital emotion and is part of your make-up. It can help you to respond effectually if you are in an unsafe environment or situation.
Many people learn how to control their anger-problem as a normal part of growing up but unfortunately for some it is much more difficult.
The first important step in dealing with an anger-problem is recognizing that you have one in the first place. And once you have acknowledged that you have an anger-problem you are on the right track to do something about it.
Think carefully about your life. Do you often shout at and hurt the ones you love the most? Do your work colleagues, partner or children often try to avoid you, maybe leaving the room whenever you enter?
Have you had a lot of problems at work, or worse still, with the police, because you allowed your anger-problem to get the better of you? If any of these situations sound familiar, then the chances are that you do have an anger-problem and you need to address it for the sake of you and all those around you.
There are many techniques available which can help to control your anger-problem. In some cases just recognizing the problem and practising some of these techniques are all that is required (eg counting to ten, deep breathing exercises, going for a walk, listening to music) but in more severe cases it may be necessary to attend professional Anger Management Classes or therapy.
If you recognise that you do have an anger-problem, then you owe it to yourself and to your loved ones to seek help. Getting help for your anger problem can often be resolved quite quickly and can lead to a much happier life for both you and your family.
There are even classes available online which can help to answer all of your questions and offer some very useful therapy to help you with your anger-problem.
So, remember if you find that you keep getting the same results and reactions from individuals in your life, then it could be you who is at fault. It could be that you are not conscious of what you are doing.
This should be a wake-up call telling you that you must change now! The sooner you can see this anger in yourself and the realisation that you need to change as soon as possible then the earlier you’ll have your life back on track.
In discovering apt ways of controlling your anger-problem, it is beneficial to find alternate ways to direct emotions and add a new viewpoint.
If you think back about what has made you angry in the past, you will maybe see that in most of the instances where you permitted your temper to get out of control, it essentially made the situation a lot worse in the long run, rather than made anything any better.
Remember, this is a significant realisation in acquiring the skill to control your temper. So whenever you find yourself in a confrontation either at work, home or any public place don’t just lash out, detach yourself from the situation, take a step back, calm down and think sensibly about what the consequences of your actions will be.
Try some or all of these 9 procedures they can help you to overcome your anger-problem
1. Stop and think about what you are doing. Then take a really deep breath expanding your diaphragm as much as you can. Then count to ten as you slowly let the breath out. This is one of the most effectual and straightforward methods of anger control and it actually works.
When you breathe deeply from your diaphragm you are practising a well-known relaxation method that will relax the tension in your muscles. And by counting to ten you are dissociating yourself from the situation and your reaction to it, and giving yourself time to calm down and think more reasonably about the circumstances.
2. Disengage yourself from the anger you are feeling: if you’re so angry with someone that you feel like you’re going to blow up, excuse yourself from the room.
Drink some water, go outside and take a few deep breaths. Giving yourself a bit of time to strategy a friendlier approach towards the person will allow you to do your utmost towards diplomacy.
3. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes: arguments can often get out of hand. So before you say something mean, just think about the other person, how they will feel if you say something mean. If you think about it even seemingly trivial phrases such as, “You’re such an idiot, or “you don’t do much for this company” can be very hurtful to a sensitive person.
Also, reconstruct your sentences to ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements. So as an alternative of accusing people with ‘you didn’t do this,’ say something like, “I am sorry I was annoyed I just wanted some assistance.”
4. Think about the outcome: telling your employer what you think of him/her could lead to being let off. Keeping your mouth shut may be hard to do, but the security of a monthly wage is worth the challenge. If your employer is putting uncalled for pressure on you, just kindly ask for more control over your tasks by stating the reason that you’re a hard-working employee.
5. Ask for help: if you’re angry about your computer malfunctioning or your printer being stuck, all you need to do is ask for help. Nearly everyone likes to feel needed and asking for their know-how in a certain area will not only boost up their self-confidence, but will also give you a simple resolution to your challenge.
6. Calmly explain how you feel: take a bit of time to compose yourself and consider what it was that it really set off the anger. Anger can be a defensive means to stop the world from knowing that your feelings have been hurt. Remember, it’s absolutely acceptable to be vulnerable. If you feel slighted or hurt, you deserve to have the matter addressed.
7. Revenge is a sign of immaturity: if someone has deliberately done something to you, they likely did so in order to wring a hysterical reaction out of you. Show them that you’re the rational party. Show them that you are always calm, cool, and collected in any situation.
8. Disperse the argument by laughing: every time you’re body is frustrated, your body will then need to exert energy. The thing is you naturally default to exerting harmful energy.
But, as you know, negative reactions only add more fuel to the ever increasing fire. So what you need to do is to diffuse the argument by laughing. By laughing you allow your body to expel energy. The body naturally recognizes laughter as a sign of happiness this in turn will ease your internal frustration, and relax the body.
9. Do something physical, like going for a brisk walk, or going to the gym. Do anything as long as it is vigorous so that you can use up your pent-up frustration thus leaving you feeling calmer.
Remember, everyone has felt anger at some point in their life. Anger is after all an emotion that is needed, but it is vital to keep a check on this powerful and sometimes destructive emotion so that it cannot take control and cause mayhem.
As you know when you become angry you frequently behave illogically and this can be very destructive for you and the people around you. Anger control is then extremely essential. Well try the steps above for your anger-problem. Good Luck!
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