Inner-conflict: conflicting thoughts within yourself, as a rule, happens between the conscious part of your mind and the unconscious part of your mind.
Do you ever say to yourself? “Well, a part of me wants to do this, but then again another part of me wants to do that.” If you do then you can be sure that there is an inner-conflict going on.
Basically these conflicting parts of your mind are sub-personalities with intentions.
Having conflicting parts gets you nowhere but to uncertainty. They are an open invitation to anxiety, stress and lose of self- confidence.
With this in mind it is important to eradicate them as soon as they manifest themselves. Self-destruction is one of the symptoms you can expect when parts of you are in conflict.
This is when everything that you try to do to reach your goal is hindered, by one of the parts. When you realise that self-destruction is just your unconscious mind’s way of communicating with you.
When you realise this then you can help it by trying to find out its positive intention behind the behaviour that is hindering you from reaching your goal.
All behaviour has a positive intent: for instance the positive intent behind someone stuffing themselves with chocolate might be to relax. The positive intent behind someone smoking might be to feel part of a group.
While everyone has conflicting thoughts at one time or another, it is essential that you know how to combat them.
And to know how to resolve them, if you resolve your inner-conflict you will then be able to immensely develop your self-confidence and in turn have a healthier and happier life.
Inner-Conflict Parts Integration Using NLP
These are the steps you should follow to bring together your conflicting parts under one common purpose. This technique is taken from NLP and is called parts integration or visual squash. You can do this exercise by yourself or work with a qualified NLP practitioner. By the way NLP means – Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
Read all the steps before trying this technique to eradicate your inner-conflict.
For this technique to work you have to find the common intention that each part has before you integrate them.
It is a good idea to talk to each of the parts, and have them realize that each part has a positive intention for the other. Also to have them acknowledge that their conflict is hindering both of them from achieving their common goal.
To Eradicate Inner-Conflict
Find a quiet place to sit down, so you won’t be disturbed.
Identify two parts of yourself that are in conflict. For example, a part of you wants to be healthy and slim, but another part of you puts up all kinds of barriers and excuses every time you want to diet and exercise.
Hold both of your hands up and a little way out in front of you with your palms facing the ceiling – also make sure that your elbows or the back of your hands aren’t resting on your knees.
Now ask the problem part to come out and stand on one of the face up palms. Let the part choose which hand. The problem part in this example would be the one that doesn’t want to diet and exercise.
Now imagine the part as a person, maybe it could be a relative, or someone you know or don’t know. What does this part look like, sound like and feel like?
Now ask the non-problem part to come out, and stand on the other hand. For this example this would be the one that wants to be slim and healthy.
Also imagine this non-problem part as a person, like before it could be a relative, or someone you know or don’t know. What does this part look like, sound like and feel like.
Starting with the problem part ask it about its highest Intention: “Why don’t you want to be slim and healthy?” the answer will be something like, “I want you to enjoy your food.” Now ask it again, “Why do you want me to enjoy my food?” the answer will probably be something like this, “because I want you to be happy”.
What you need to do is to you ask questions until you establish the highest positive intention of the part.
Now ask the second part, the non-problem part about its highest intention. The answer you will get is probably something like, “I want to feel more confident.” Then ask, why do you want to feel more confident? The answer could be, “because I want you to be happy.”
Ask questions until you get this part highest intention. Your goal is have the two parts agree on a common goal which is happiness in this case. The more you go up in the hierarchy of intentions the more you will find that the parts start to agree with each other.
Once you have agreement ask each part what resources it has that the other part would find useful in attaining their common goal.
The part that doesn’t like to be healthy might say something like, “I have the ability to figure out solutions to problems.” The part that wants to be healthy might say that it has the ability to get things done.
Bring both hands together, as you are talking to both parts and tell them that they both have the same purpose and that there is no need for an inner-conflict between them.
If you hold your hands out a little way in front of you while you are doing this parts integration your hands will automatically come together.
When your hands have come together, hold both of them firmly and bring both of them up so that they are touching your chest. Once they have touched your chest visualize a vibrant white light encompassing both hands.
This will send a message to your unconscious mind telling it that the parts have integrated and so there will be no more inner-conflict. Good luck!
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