Overcoming-shyness: if you suffer from extreme shyness, you may find it hard communicating, or approaching someone good-looking. You might even get very anxious when you talk to a person you like or feel attracted to.
You most likely fret about making a clown of yourself, or turning bright red with unease. Frightened that the person you are trying to have a conversation with might observe how ill at ease and embarrassed you feel in the situation
You may well be amazed at how certain people appear to over flow with self-confidence. They seem to be at ease with themselves in practically any situation.
They can effortlessly produce interesting conversations and chat to anyone just as if they were old acquaintances. The question is how can you make a positive change so that you can be at ease in any situation?
But first what is shyness exactly? Well, shyness is basically feeling awkward in social settings.
Especially with people you don’t know, in a way that restricts with your ability to enjoy yourself – to act at the level that you are capable of.
Many people feel shy at some point in their life. It only becomes a big problem when you find it hard to communicate with people at work or are trying to start a relationship or if you really want to go to a social gathering but are too scared to go.
Shyness can fluctuate from feeling moderate to mild uneasiness in one or more sections of your life (e.g., having to talk over the phone at work, going to social functions, public speaking, dating, having to meet new people) to unbearable stages of anxiety that influences you in virtually everything you do.
If the shyness is really extreme, it is then frequently described as panic disorder, social phobia or social anxiety by health care professionals that deal in treating people with extreme shyness.
Seeing that shyness can influence just one part of your life and not the other parts, it’s feasible for shy people to seem extroverted to others who don’t know them.
There are many famous people who are shy. You hear of many famous actors who are shy in their everyday life and yet they go on stage and produce an excellent performance.
It may be the same with you. Maybe you are sociable at work but in your private life you find it hard to form a relationship with the opposite sex. Why is that?
The simple answer is that when you are at work you are given a part to perform that part legitimizes you in others eyes and your own.
Just say that you have to do a cold call on behalf of the company that you’re working for if the call doesn’t go as it should then the company takes a share of the fall. The thing is if you call with your own interest in mind, whatever rebuff may follow is a lot more personal.
Did you know that approximately half the adult population in North America is thought to be shy?
Many people around the world have struggled with shyness at some point in their life? Including:
Sally Field, Barbara Walters, Nicole Kidman, Lady Gaga, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, David Bowie, Barbara Streisand, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Kevin Costner and many more. But the thing is it didn’t stop them from overcoming-shyness and doing what they wanted, so you see there is a way out!
Is overcoming-shyness an easy thing to do? Well, it’s not easy to overcome it but it can be done. With some people their shyness just seems to disappear as they get older.
Overcoming-Shyness some Tips
The first thing to do is to believe that you can change that you don’t have to live with shyness all your life. You may say to yourself that it’s your persona that makes you shy and there is nothing you can do about it.
The thing is, however, it’s your own negative attitude that makes you feel shy and unsure of yourself.
If you have a negative attitude, and think that people won’t take to you or find you of no interest, do you know what will happen? That idea of yourself will become a self-fulfilling prophecy because you are whatever you think you are.
Positive visualization can help to change your mental outlook to that of a positive mental outlook. Before going to any social gathering or important meeting create a picture of yourself being full of self-confidence and charm.
What will happen is that your subconscious mind will believe in the fantasies that you create in your mind. Remember the subconscious is like a computer you can re-programme it by using positive visualization.
If you feel anxious before any social gathering because you assume you have absolutely nothing of interest to say to people you can confront this doubt by looking up subjects you’d get pleasure from having a conversation about.
Look on the internet to find free information on whatever interest you. Search the newspapers and the most up-to-date magazines and find out what is happening in the world.
The more well-informed you are about what’s going on in the world around you, the more at ease you’ll be when you encounter new people.
People that suffer from shyness frequently pull themselves down and criticize themselves for being self-conscious and awkward. One of the biggest keys to positive change is to learn to acknowledge these emotions without shame.
By giving yourself consent to be shy and tense, you will then start to be more comfortable with yourself and with other people.
You conquer the shyness by giving way to it, by not fighting it. This technique is called paradoxical technique. When you pull yourself down you then feel more negativity towards yourself. This then makes the situation even worse.
The proper use of breathing can help considerably if you are shy. If you are going to a party or an important meeting and you feel apprehensive about it, become aware of how the stress reaction sets in.
Your body will feel on edge, geared up for “fight or flight”. Your body reacts to this stressed condition and your breathing becomes shallow making you suffer from panic attacks.
When this begins to occur, make an attempt to direct your breathing. Practice taking slow deep breaths in through your nose, drawing the air deep down in to your abdomen and then slowly breathe out through your mouth.
This breathing technique will assist your mind and body to stay calm so that you can think more clearly when having a conversation with someone.
Work on ways that will make you feel better about yourself. One of the best ways to overcome shyness is to join a drama class.
I know it sounds scary, but it has worked for a lot of people. A year at drama class will almost certainly help you get you out of your shell a bit more – it may not fix your shyness completely but it will help.
So don’t let fear stop you from joining your local drama class.
If after trying the techniques above and you still find it hard to form any kind of relationship with people, maybe hypnosis or counselling can help you to find the root cause of the problem.
Having personal support can help to break the shyness cycle. Remember, shyness can make you miss out on chances in life that others would be thankful of. That is why that overcoming-shyness is so rewarding. Good Luck!
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